Last Wednesday I went up to the VA hospital to visit my Uncle Bill. He was admitted to the hospital over the weekend for stomach problems. They did a colonoscopy and endoscopy and said that his stomach and bowels were really bad. The past month he has lost 40-50 pounds and was on the decline. The last time I saw him was at my mom's house (Uncle bill would come every month to my mom's house for dinner. We loved having him come. He would always bring gold coins for the kids. And if it was their birthday month, he would give them a 2 dollar bill). The last time he came was in May and I just had this feeling that that was the last time he would be coming. I loved always sitting on the couch talking with him and hearing his stories. He loved football, he played it in high school. He was the quarterback for his team. He was in the army during the wars. He was married (his wife died about 15 years ago), he has 3 kids but each of his kids have chosen not to have kids. So he doesn't have any grandkids. So me and my siblings and all of our kids were his. So I was thankful my Grandma and Grandpa Kofoed would always go and get him so he could come to the dinners.
The past month, he has been staying at home and just not feeling well. I knew he was ready to pass on. When you would ask how he was doing he would say, "well I am still here." I tried going to visit him once at his home, but when I got there he didn't want visitors. I was sadden because I just wanted to see him one last time and give him a hug because I knew he wasn't going to be around much longer.
So last week when I found out he was in the hospital, I knew I needed to get up there. Jarel was up close to the hospital doing a job, so he stopped in to see him before he went to his next job. My dad was there when Jarel went. That same day was Neil's birthday and we were going to his house. I asked Kim (who moved back from CA and is staying there until they get a house) if I could drop the kids off early so I can run up and see Uncle Bill.
I got up to the hospital and nobody else was there. It was nice to just spend one on one time with him. Uncle Bill was defiantly weak and confused. He couldn't lift his cup by himself, I had to help him get a drink each time. He couldn't eat by himself, I fed him his jello (he didn't have an appetite that night, and with his stomach still not good, he was given broth and jello and he opted for jello). I fed him about 5 small spoonfuls and that was all he wanted. At one point he asked how the kids were and I told him they were at Grandpa Hathaway's birthday party and having cake and ice cream. Uncle Bill's eyes got so wide and said, "ice cream? Now that sounds good, something I could have." Unfortunately he couldn't :( oh how I wish he could have. I was there for about 2 hours, just chatting, listening, helping and supporting. He was so tired and kept falling asleep, which I didn't care, but every time he would wake up, he would say he was sorry for falling asleep. His mind was still there, but his short term memory was not. I had to tell him 10 times or so that the cup on his tray was jello, that the thing on his finger was to measure his oxygen. It saddened me to see him like this. After one time of falling asleep, he woke up in a panic. He was looking all around, and finally I said, "Uncle Bill I am right here." A huge relief came to him and he said, "I thought you were gone. Will you help me get a drink?" Broke my heart. Oh how I wished I could help him more. But in the end, he was still Uncle Bill! Even with his memory loss and confusing and weakness he was still the person I knew. For that I was so happy. I am so grateful I was able to go and visit with him and spend that time with him. Today I learned that Uncle Bill passed away. I will miss him lots. I am glad he didn't have to spend too much time at the nursing home (they had just moved him from the hospital to the nursing home yesterday and he wasn't happy about it. He hated the hospital, thought everyone was out to get him and couldn't understand how one day he was good and the next he was in the hospital unable to eat). I am glad he is up in heaven with his wife. He was a great person and an example to me. I will be happy when I get to see him again. Love you Uncle Bill!
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